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Bagels, Burns, and Bandages

lipstick smallerAh, the glamorous life of the indie fiber artist.  I had scheduled a week for making videos about fiber and spinning.  It wasn’t to be.  No one wants to see pictures of my chopped up thumb or my burned hand.  Instead, here’s a picture of some lipstick pink and red yarn I spun up doing demonstrations at a farmers market.  Trust me.  This is better.

Turns out, injuries multiply.  First, I chopped my thumb while cutting a bagel.  In an attempt to do everyday tasks and *not* hurt the injured thumb, I’ve dropped a crock pot on my head, burned the back of my other hand, and suffered a variety of slings and arrows which sent me whimpering to my couch- where I discovered that I instinctively use my thumb to turn pages on my kindle.

The worst part of this is that for two weeks well-meaning people have given me tips and hints for cutting a bagel.  Trust me.  I can cut a bagel.  This was not the fault of the bagel. It could have been a piece of fish on the cutting board.  This was all me not practicing good knife skills.

We live for our bread machine, and our incredibly sharp, serrated bread knife and I are (were) best friends.  My hubby and I were joking around, and I turned to face him while making a decisive cut to sever that last bit of bagel crust.

Yup.  Insert blood, guts and gore here.  The bit of thumb on the cutting board wasn’t going back on. Very fitting that we had just seen a production of Sweeney Todd the day before.  Not a fan of meat pies, but I was strangely reluctant to throw it away.

20160223_162244.jpgThe past two weeks could have been called “painfully discovering 101 tasks that need two thumbs”.  If ever a time for armpit knitting, this was it.  Sadly, I don’t have super long needles!

In case you ever need it, here’s an alternate knitting grip.  This is my sad attempt to finish the octopus sweater (aka St Brigid by Alice Starmore).  Yes, Octopus sweater. That’s a story for another day.
20160227_192320Life did not cooperate!.  I had no luck opening jars, tying my shoes or zipping anything. I stupidly forced my swollen bandaged thumb into a pair of mittens and then got stuck. More disturbing, I developed a phobia regarding the knife involved.  Here’s the psycho knife.  I am convinced it has a taste for my blood.  From this day forward, it is Bob’s job to pre-slice all bagels that enter the house!

As I type this, I’ve just realized having a bagel boy isn’t a bad thing…  hmm.  Next step is to figure out a way to get the vacuum cleaner to attack me.

On the plus side, I did have some enforced down time.  I taped an enormous wad of gauze over my thumb and read The Paper Magician trilogy by Charlie Holmberg.   The short review: It’s charming!  Nicely written with a clear, interesting world building, good characterizations and an interesting plot.   Long review will come later.

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